Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
