Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well you can't waste a boner
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
