Barsexuality is the new black.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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