i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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