end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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