People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
foreskin is a definite game changer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
