And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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