you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize