i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize