The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
