we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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