i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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