In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
