That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
