hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
