I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
