now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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