Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
