don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
