ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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