my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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