he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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