i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
