i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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