Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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