i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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