id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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