She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Randomize
