You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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