God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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