You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
