I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
