I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize