How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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