On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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