my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
