i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
