on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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