i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
