After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
