He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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