toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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