jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
