I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
