Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
