But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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