i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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