U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
