is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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