Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
