I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
