$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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