he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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