dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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