Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize