you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
