the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
